Can you see deleted messages on ig?

In Instagram, no — once a DM is unsent or deleted it is gone from the thread for both people and there is no restore option. Instagram's Recently deleted folder (Settings → Your activity → Recently deleted) does exist, but it only holds deleted posts, reels, stories, videos and highlights for 30 days; direct messages are never kept there.

What people are usually remembering

• Unsend / "Delete for everyone" removes the message on both sides permanently. Instagram leaves no placeholder, and support cannot rebuild a thread on request.
• Notification previews. If notifications were on, the text may still sit in Android's notification history (Settings → Notifications → Notification history, about 24 hours), or in a monitored device's log.
• A screenshot taken before deletion is the only reliable copy — and Instagram tells the other person it was taken.
• Archived chats are not deleted chats. If the thread simply vanished from the inbox, check Settings → Archive first.

Requesting your data from Instagram returns your own account copy, not a reconstruction of what the other person deleted. No monitoring product can recover a DM that was deleted before it was ever captured, regardless of the marketing. The longer version — including what a data download does and does not contain — is in this thread.

Where the app actually helps. Ultimate Phone Spy (https://ultimatephonespy.com/parental-control-features) logs Instagram activity at the device level: DM threads as they render on screen, story views, searches typed, profiles opened, media saved to the camera roll. It runs on Android 4.0+, Windows and Mac, and it is not an iPhone product — iOS does not allow that access, so nothing legitimately reads iPhone-side DMs, iMessage included. If one thread matters, sync frequency is the setting that decides whether a message deleted an hour later is still in your dashboard.

Lawful use. A child's phone you administer, or a company device with written notice. A partner's phone without consent falls under stalking and wiretap law in most jurisdictions, and suspicion is not a defence. If you need admissible evidence, the route is consent or a court order.